We are all living in this same world. And no matter what level you are at, it seems that those with more power in their own little kingdoms, sometimes loose their way. So, this is my ‘rant’ about Power Hungry People!
When I first moved back to Encinitas from LA, I was shocked when the Owner of a small pizza joint, (trying to act like his establishment is fine dining) served a customer burnt pizza and when the customer asked for a new one, this owner started screaming and kicked the customer out in front of the entire restaurant. Worse yet, after the customer left, he turned to all of us in the restaurant and started bad mouthing that customer.
Well, you know if you are going to continue to be HIS customer this.…… YOU’RE NEXT, if you continue to frequent that restaurant. Because the owner is a loose cannon that can go off any any time for any reason.
Just because you have power, doesn’t mean you should abuse that privilege.
Which brings me to my next experience. I ran into to someone in charge of a big event (actually a small time, small town event that appears BIG in these parts), who actually ranted that I would not be given a press pass, because she had decided my blog did not have enough followers. And during my calm, collected response explaining that I run San Diego Foodies, etc. she hung up the phone.
She sounded crazed…. upset, that I would even ask to promote her food event “Oh, no…..WE decided who to give press passes to months ago” acting like I was out of my mind to even suggest such a thing at this late date.
When I realized there would be no ticket at the door for me, but I had already booked the hotel, I approached a couple of sponsors to see if they would comp me a pass if I would feature them in my blog and or promote them to San Diego Foodies (these were sponsors like I would eventually like to sponsor my cooking show and this would have been a good start), she called me, screaming that I am BLACKLISTED from attending the event, for trying to ‘go around’ her…. and said she would be contacting all the sponsors, to let them know. For the second time, in two conversations during my calm and collected reply, she hung up mid sentence.
I sent her an email explaining it was never my intention to go over her head…. That I simply wanted to attend and PROMOTE the event, at no cost to her simply because it was a foodie event…….. but there is no talking to her.
My friends, I am actually clear about the fact that this is about HER, not me. It is her problem, not mine. I have been invited to event after event, with tickets left for me at ‘will call’. I have given away tickets on my blog and to San Diego Foodies at events I hold, and people are happy to have Chef Marian promoting them. I was reminded of how well my brand is developing when I walked the Fancy Food Show in San Francisco and a woman dressed in a Chef’s Uniform called out to me “Chef Marian! I read your blog all the time and would love to cook with you”. She was, by the way an important Chef from Orange County. a neighboring area about an hour or so away. She hadn’t seen any of my local promotion, and yet she knew me, was excited about what I do. And that’s how it builds…. with strangers saying they feel like they know me, or I look familiar… over and over, because they’re right! They have seen me…. sponsoring events, my face on Meetup, my blog available to all…
And what will come of the drama from this past week created by a woman responding OFF THE CHARTS to a simple request? This unprofessional behavior, this character flaw of hers, will be her own undoing. Karma. It takes care of everybody and everything. But I do wonder about the human condition.
The businesses? The names of these people? Not important.
What I want you to come away with is this: Anytime ANY ONE unloads on you, instead of taking it personally (and believe me, there’s always going to be a knee jerk response of disbelief), remember what I am saying here: look at that person as if they are a small helpless child, and feel bad for them…. bad that they are giving themselves cancer with this level of stress, and sad for them, that they are so miserable. At the end of the day, does it really affect you?
Well, in business it does. Business requires a lawsuit ensue. But I am talking about the personal response, not the legal liability of slander.
I am in the process of branding Chef Marian, which will include Syndicated TV Shows, and Chef Marian product on the shelves. I wonder if our paths will cross again, and wonder how she will feel when the shoe is on the other foot, and she needs something from me……?
You meet the same people on your way up, as on your way down.
I know we all have hard lives, filled with stress. But the next time you go to ‘unload’ on someone, stop yourself. Take a second look and see them as if they were your mother, your aunt, your sister, your cousin and think: “Would I want someone saying this to them, this way”? Isn’t there a kinder way to handle it? Or can’t we re re-think our position in light of new information? Aren’t we allowed to change our minds for the good of the company?
And if someone is naturally a promoter, should we not take that as a compliment? That they want to help promote what we are doing at NO charge?
This is now the third time I have seen this kind of behavior. Meetup Organizers not wanting to cross promote. One guy even told me it was wrong to promote myself by introducing myself as Chef Marian. But isn’t that a cheap way to promote and get the conversation started about what I do? Duh! Some people actually see promotion as a dirty word. It’s very, very strange. And in that case, I simply walked away as well.
By the way, when you do cooking shows in front of a live studio audience, and everyone refers to you as ‘chef’ or Chef Marian for 4 years, you get used to it and the name sticks, there’s nothing wrong with that. The people that have a problem with that….. (say it with me), have a problem. And it’s their problem, not yours (or mine).
Follow the Chef Marian lifestyle of ‘Do no harm’ and see if you can’t personally make this a better life for you, and those around you. Stay HUNGRY. Just not POWER hungry!
Peace out and Happy Eating,
Chef Marian